Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.

Pablo Picasso

You may be one of those unfortunate souls that has had the rule “never use passive voice” crammed down your throat by some well-meaning but hard-line English teacher. Even if you have not formally studied grammar or linguistics in depth, know that language is complex. Language functions more on general principles rather than strict rules. So, when someone says you should always say things a certain way, take their advice with a grain of salt. I’m sure you’re still wondering though, can we use passive voice in fiction? The answer, like language, is complex.

The problem with the passive voice isn’t even a grammar issue – it’s a style and clarity issue. Grammatically speaking, a sentence with passive voice is perfectly correct. (I hope you’ll forgive me for not changing this series to be more accurately called, “How to Break Grammar Rules and Stylistic Principles in Fiction,” as that would be simply too wordy for a subtitle.)

Stylistic issues are complex, more complex than grammar issues. The same element that makes one sentence stylistically weak can make another sentence stylistically strong. Context is everything. Stylistic rules aren’t black and white “right” and “wrong.” Stylistic principles simply say, “usually, it’s better if . . .”

That is why anyone who makes strict claims about the “rightness” of a stylistic “rule” is particularly fishy. It’s usually a sign that the person knows what the rule is, but not why it exists. This person is knowledgeable enough to give a couple examples, but not enough to understand the myriad of exceptions.

So, what exactly is the problem that so many seem to have with the passive voice?

Learn the Rule Like a Pro

Passive voice reverses typical sentence structures:

• Active voice: Tony walked the dog.
• Passive voice: The dog was walked [by Tony].

Passive voice makes the person doing the action (in this case, Tony) optional information. The sentence is still complete without naming who walked the dog. This function allows politicians and companies to apologize without taking the blame. “Mistakes were made” rather than “I made a mistake.” In the wrong hands, passive voice can be a dangerous tool. That’s why I think any education about critical media consumption should include a lesson on how to recognize and catch potentially deceptive language.

Of course, when writing fiction, that deception can be a good trick to use when writing the dialogue of a character who has something to hide (but I’m getting ahead of myself).

When passive voice isn’t hiding information, it often sounds indirect and wordy. This is the most common way that passive voice is used in fiction and it makes for clunky writing:

• Passive: The stag was chased through the night by a hunter.
  • Active: The hunter chased the stag through the night.
• Passive: A spell was cast by a powerful sorceress on the castle turning everyone to stone.
  • Active: A powerful sorceress cast a spell on the castle turning everyone to stone.

 In most cases, passive voice makes for very weak writing and it needs to go.

Break It Like an Artist

But there are still cases where passive voice is the best choice! Passive voice isn’t always deceptive or wordy, and it can play an important role in communication.

One way passive voice can benefit communication is through emphasis. The last phrase of a sentence has the strongest emphasis. The second strongest emphasis is the first phrase of a sentence. (The reason why that is true has to do with how our working memory works, but you’re here for language, not psychology, so I won’t let myself digress.) By changing the order of a sentence, the passive voice can help us emphasize the most important information.

Some Examples of Emphasis

Let’s take the example, “my house was destroyed.” The emphasis here is squarely on the destruction. If you changed the sentence to, “my house was destroyed by the hurricane,” the emphasis is more on the power of the hurricane rather than the destruction. Then if you switch it to, “the hurricane destroyed my house,” the emphasis would primarily be on the house and secondarily be on the hurricane. All of these are subtle shifts in emphasis, but they still affect the tone in ways that we unconsciously process and understand. This is a very important function of the passive voice and why it’s so limiting to say you can never use it.

Here’s another example of passive voice in fiction: “This vile crime was committed by none other than one we though was our dearest friend, Captain Charles.” This is a sentence that I envision in a reveal scene of a classic murder mystery. It’s something a master detective would declare after solving the case. It’s a climax, a scene founded on building and releasing tension. By using the passive voice, the writer is able to build anticipation by not naming perpetrator until very end of the sentence.

When Hiding the Actor Isn’t Deceptive

Another thing to note is that even when passive constructions omit who is taking the action, the speaker isn’t necessarily being deceptive. Sometimes the omitted information is clear enough through the context:

• “The study was being conducted in a controlled laboratory on the fifth floor of an austere concrete building.” We know that studies are conducted by researchers. The reader doesn’t need to be told that, and who the specific researchers are may be irrelevant to the central story. The location and the building here are more important details than who specifically is conducting the research.
• “I woke up to learn that my school had been closed to prevent the spread of the virus.” The reader knows that educational boards and regional governments are the bodies that control school closures. Who specifically made this decision is irrelevant to the central information that the writer wants to convey: whose school was closed (the protagonist’s) and why.

In short, passive voice makes for bad writing when it’s needlessly wordy. But passive voice can still be a useful tool in fiction when it smoothly adds an intentional emphasis.